My Story
by Lost Innocence
Summary: Can this be? I actually updated? My God! Its a miracle! The Three Kingdoms era seen through the eyes of a maiden. Please RR.
1. Memories of Long Passed Years

Lost Innocence's Notes: I have always felt there was a lack of female characters in this epic novel. Surely there must have been more than one woman that lasted for more than a few lines in the story. That is why I created Liu Yulan. 

I try to follow the major storyline of RTK but I'm not an expert so please forgive any mistakes I make. All the characters will be described as they are in DW3. 

Disclaimer: I do not own The Romance of Three Kingdoms or any of the characters in it. But Liu Yulan is mine.

**My Story**

Everybody knows who Diao Chan is, but what about me? I know she sacrificed a lot in order to overthrow that tyrant Dong Zhuo. I have heard her tale countless times. How she let herself to be with two men in order to tear apart their trust. But it mustn't have been that hard- that hard to be with Dong Zhuo because she didn't love Lu Bu… 

But it doesn't matter now. You are listening to me. You will hear my story and all I ask of you is to listen and listen closely. Believe me.

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My family was originally from Xiang Yang. My father, Liu Yun style Fangda was a small general serving under the royal uncle of the emperor, Liu Bei during the rise of the Yellow Scarves. He was only 21 then. He was tall and his shoulders wide. His playful eyes twinkled under his fair brows. Sometimes in my dreams, I can still hear his ringing laughter and see his smile as he lifted me, his 'most perfect jade' up into the air. 

After the fall of the Yellow Dragon, my father continued to serve under Lord Xuande. He followed him to Xi An, the capital of the Han. And there he died. They say a disease struck him but I know better than to listen to their lies. It was that despicable man, Cao Cao. My father was a loyal general to the Han and knew better than to listen to the sly words of that traitor. My father stood up for the Emperor, the rightful heir of power. He did what was just, what was righteous. Cao Cao knew father would never obey him. Father was just another threat to his power, along with Lord Liu Bei. And for my father's righteous but rebellious spirit, he died. Cao Cao must've slipped poison into his food. I wish I could've prevented this but I was too young to understand then. 

Immediately after my father's death, my Lord Liu Bei fled. His departure was neither out of fear nor dishonor but to temporarily escape the tyranny of Cao Cao to establish a stand against his ill deeds. And with him, he brought my sister and I. I was barely 2 at the time yet I can still remember that day so clearly. We had stopped to rest on the road for the fierceness of Cao Cao's pursuit was decreasing. The day was hot, the men thirsty. Water was brought to his highness yet he gave it to us. As he watched us drink, tears began running down his cheeks as he fell to his knees. His sobs were begging for forgiveness, forgiving him because he was not able to prevent our father's death. My sister, Rushi, who was 7 at the time immediately brought him to his feet. His sobs ceased and he picked me up. Our eyes met. I stared into his dark, sad eyes and he into my innocent creamy brown ones. 

From that day, we became his adopted daughters. He promised to raise us as if we were his own. And truly, he was a man of his words. My sister and I grew up in the best environment he could provide for us. My father's face slowly diminished in my adolescent mind. His playful eyes were replaced with Lord Liu Bei's dark, soulful ones, his ringing laughter replaced with Lord Liu Bei's soft smiles. My father was now no longer Liu Yun but Lord Xuande. 

O' father! You have done so much for me. Raising my sister and I into adulthood. I shall never forget your kindness to us in our time of need. I would do anything for you to aid you. And then you asked for my help. You said with my help, the establishment of your power in the chaotic feuding land can be found. I was more than happy to help. But if I had known the outcome, I would have never done it. 

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That was quite a change from my other story, no? Lol, if you happened to read my other story, Once Upon A Dream, you've noticed I've again used the name Liu Yulan. I don't know why though. I just like it a lot. But you can tell the two Yulan's in the two stories are very different. I like to believe that Yulan from Once Upon A Dream is the reincarnation of the Yulan from here. And that your reincarnation can possess different qualities than your former self but still much of the same. 


	2. Memories of Chang Ban

AN: Let's pretend while we read this story that age and time is not a factor. It would be simply too difficult to write a fic while making sure the calculations of years between each event are still true.

Disclaimer: There wasn't copyright back in the days Luo Guanzhong wrote this but I'll respect him and say it anyways. I do not own any Romance of Three Kingdoms characters because they were real people and since slavery has been abolished and they've been dead for 1800 years, I can't own them even if I wanted to.

Chapter 2 

The year is 207. 12 years after the end of Dong Zhuo's tyranny. Just the beginning of Cao Cao's reign of terror.

I softly exited Madame Gan's quarters and entered the hallway. My soft footsteps echoed in the quite stillness. Soft voices could be heard coming from my father's chamber. I stopped and pressed my ears on the door. The soft murmuring of voices continued but I could not make out the words nor the voice of the man that was speaking. Gently I pushed open the wooden doors and stepped into the outer waiting room of my father's chambers. With a wave of my hand, I dismissed the two servants who stood on each side of the door.

Quietly, I tiptoed across the room and approached the door to my father's inner chamber. The voices were quite clear now.

"My Lord, there is nothing to fear."

I smiled at the sound of his voice. It was Master Kongming. He was always so calm. Like the flowing stream of a quite mountainside.

And then there was my father's voice. He spoke quickly, so quickly I could not catch onto his words. His voice seemed stressed and troubled.

I knew I shouldn't but I was very curious. Softly I pressed my head against the wooden door and listened to their conversation.

"How can I not worry? There is so much I must worry about! For one, the growing threat in the North!"

I gasped for I was well aware of it meant. "Threat. North." Cao Cao was coming… I suddenly felt deathly faint and cold sweat formed on my palms and brow. I could still hear their screams…

I watched helplessly as Cao Cao's soldiers broke through our small, pitiful defenses. They slaughtered everyone. Soldiers, peasants, men, women, the old, the young. No one was spared. Lifeless bodies piled everywhere. Chang Ban Po became a crimson sea of blood.

I felt so weak, so helpless. I had been trained in the art of fighting for several years now, but against the intimidating size of Cao Cao's army, what could I have done with no armor nor weapon?

The carriage was small and cramped. All I could hear was the dying cries of peasants, victorious shouts of soldiers and the constant crying of Liu Shan in Madame Mi's arms.

The carriage's speed slowly diminished until it came to a complete halt. We abandoned it and traveled by foot, hoping to make ourselves into a crowd of people hoping to lose the attention of Cao Cao's pursuing generals. But instead of losing them, we only lost each other.

I made for the northern slope. Reaching the top, I looked around frantically for any sign of Madame Mi or Madame Gan. I could find neither. I spotted a house to the east. It was old and broken down, apparently been abandoned for many years now. The walls of the yard were cracking. It was a good hideout, Madame Mi and Gan must be there. They had to be.

Pushing open the heavy wooden door, I scrambled into the courtyard. All heads turned and fixed their gaze on me.

"Is-is," I choked out gasping for breaths, "Is Madam Gan and Mi here?"

They looked at each other, exchanging confused glances. An elder man, probably in his 60's stepped forward and answered, "No my Lady, were the two Madams not with you?"

My heart sank and my head became hot and dizzy. What was I to do now? I could not panic. They were all counting on me, all of them, every last man, woman, and child. They were all depending on me to lead them to safety. But what was I to do now? I had neither horse nor map of the area. And with the pursuing soldiers of Wei outside, I had no chance in escaping Cao Cao's clutches.

Murmurs of panic broke out among them as they read the worried expression I wore on my face.

"What are you going to do now?"

"Even the Lady cannot help us!"

"We are certainly doomed!"

Above all their voices, my ears picked up the sound of approaching footsteps, the clanking of armor and the deep voices of men. Swiftly, with a movement of my hand, I silenced them. I listened as the footsteps came closer to our hideout, my eyes wide with alert.

"I'll check over here and you go the other way." spoke one voice.

"All right." Answered the other.

My heart raced faster and pounded harder as the soldier's footsteps came closer to us. There were only two of them, only two voices. I could take them, I hope. I turned to look at the peasants. Most were the elderly, women and children. They looked back at me with fearful eyes and shivering hands. I could expect no help from them. I had to do this by myself. I had to protect my people.

I pulled off a large chunk of debris from the cracking wall as the door creaked loudly as he entered. I pressed my body tightly against the wall, still holding on to my weapon, hoping to avoid being seen by him so I could catch him off guard.

He looked around cautiously and spotted the peasants. With a cruel smile, he drew his sword and approached them. A young girl screamed and clung tightly to her mother. That was my signal. Carefully, I snuck up behind him. He never saw it coming. With all my strength, I raised the chunk of debris over his head, smashing his skull with it. With a painful yell, he crumpled to the ground, fresh blood pouring from his head, dyeing his indigo uniform a scarlet color.

I felt both mixed emotions of disgust and happiness. The sight of his body bathed in that bloody puddle made my stomach quench. Yet I was glad I had killed him. I had protected my people. I quickly snapped out of my little celebration at the sound of the other soldier's voice. I picked up the dead man's weapon, an iron sword, and held it tightly in my sweaty palms.

"What?! What happened?!" cried the soldier as he stormed into the courtyard.

With a swift show of swordsmanship, I slitted his throat. His dying body fell to the ground, joining his companion.

A shout of triumph ran through my head. "I did it! I had slain my enemies!"

What a foolish thought to think. For that brief, yet arrogant moment, I had broken the first rule in fighting. Never turn your back on the enemy.

I was struck down heavily on the back of the head with the handle of a sword. I fell to the ground with a groan. I could hear the gasps from the villagers. I opened my eyes but could see nothing but a black, then white light. I tried to get up, but the surges of pain were too great.

I'm not sure for how long I was down. It must've been a while for when I came to regain my sight and consciousness of the surrounding, dozens of feet and the legs of a tall white steed had spread across the floor of the yard.

I waited for my deathblow but no such thing came. Instead, I was picked up by my arm by a firm yet gentle hand. I groaned, keeping my head down, still feeling dizzy from the blow. I kept my eyes closed for I dared not face my enemy again. But then I realized if I were to die now, at least see who it was that brought death upon me.

Then suddenly, I felt the cold touch of metal slide smoothly against the skin of my chin, lifting my head up. My eyes shot open and gazed into his face.

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AN: Sorry about the lack of updates. I've actually been quite busy with schoolwork and such. But the biggest reason I didn't write this chapter sooner was because I wasn't sure how to continue it. But I've got the whole story planned out now so expect more updates in shorter times! ^__^

As you can tell by the title, this is only the first part of the Chang Ban memory. I was planning to make the two into one chapter but it would've taken me a little longer to write it out and I felt you guys probably wanted to read some chapters ASAP.


	3. Escape

AN: All right, here we go, third chapter! Since this is the 2nd part of the Chang Ban incident, it'll start right off from where the last chapter ended. If you forget where we were, go back and read the last sentence or so. 

Disclaimer: Too lazy to write one… sue me if you want. 

This chapter is brought to you by Dynasty Funhouse. This show's got it all. Men going to jail, vanishing pants, potty mouths, burning libraries, and Sima Yi getting angry. What more can you possibly want from an educational program? Please visit them at the Dynasty Warriors section under rated R fics.

  
**Chapter 3**

  
"So, we finally meet Lady Yulan," he cooed softly, purring so quietly at the end that only I could hear. 

My heart pounded faster, both out of fright and excitement of this new enemy. A pair of dark eyes, danced playfully as they gazed into mine. A long, straight nose and high cheekbones set on a slender face. A small, delicate smile pursed into a mocking smile. His long, dark hair was kept up by an elaborate hairpiece, set on a high ponytail, the ends flowing freely to his waist. The shorter locks of sleek black hair fell to both sides of his delicate cheeks, framing his fair face. 

I stared at him, dumbstruck and speechless. I didn't understand. How could someone so fair, so gentle in appearance, be the one that will end my life? I felt a sudden surge of anger and hate form upon my chest. Sharply, I turned my face to the side, no longer wishing to face him, not even realizing that he could've easily killed me with those heavy golden claws of his. My cheeks burned a scarlet color for I could still feel his heated gaze set upon me. Slowly, I turned my head to face him again. My eyes, burning with the flames of hatred and rage stared into his. 

"General," I spoke calmly, "Kill me now for that is your mission. Do not drag this moment on any longer for I do not fear death but I refuse to be taunted by your mocking words." 

My voice ran smoothly, without a stutter, without a pause. I prayed he would not see through the lie I had just told. Of course I feared death, it would be foolish not to. 

He seemed taken back by my words, his head cocked to one side, his eyes forming a confused expression. But that left as soon as it came, his mischievous eyes and lighthearted smile soon reappeared on his face. 

"Why, I haven't the slightest clue what you mean My Lady!" he answered in a silky voice, flashing a smile. "I never had the intention of ending your life!" 

I continued to stare at him, a frown upon my brows, the plain words of confusion written on my face. I had not the slightest idea of why he wouldn't kill me. Surely Cao Cao wanted everyone dead. But why was he sparing my life…? 

Terrible thoughts came to mind out of fear and desperation. What if I was to be captured, captured alive? I would be able to escape death now but only to endure hours if not days of torture. I could feel my fear growing. It stirred in my stomach, flowed in my blood, ready to swallow me up. But I could not show fright. Not to him, not to my enemy. 

"My Lady," he began, seeing the distressed look upon my face, "like I have said before, I am not going to kill you." He continued, raising his voice for everyone to hear, "I am letting you go." 

Puzzled expressions appeared on the faces of the people and his soldiers as well as mine. 

"I hope this is not some trickery of yours." I replied, my words harsh, my tone icy. 

"I assure you it is not My Lady. I am a man of my word." 

"Then why?" 

"Because I did not receive any direct orders to kill you, My Lady," he replied, his gaze not set on me but on the peasants. "Never did the Grand Lord request the death of you specifically. So, I will take it that he does not want you dead." 

"You have such a clever way of words, General." I answered mockingly, "Now are you sure that wonderful Lord Cao Cao of yours will not blame you?" 

I regretted those words as soon as they escaped my mouth. Nurse had always scolded me on my sharp tongue and sarcastic comments. I hoped dearly he would not be angered by it and change his mind. 

He made no answer. Instead, he commanded his troops to gather the people and assemble outside. Then, when everyone had left, he turned to face me, managing a smile, so sweet, so innocent, so pure. And without a word, he turned and exited the courtyard, leaving me speechless. 

I, too, soon joined the company outside. Stepping back once into the wide-open area of the hill, I was at first blinded by the sudden rays of sunlight. It seemed as if gloomy clouds had loomed over the yard foreshadowing danger. But now leaving the courtyard, the clouds of misfortune have passed and the gleams of hope and protection now shine upon us. 

Striding over to where the peasants huddled, I rested my hand on an elderly man's shoulder, my eyes kind and encouraging, hoping my presence would calm their worries. Then hearing my name being called, I turned to see him approaching us, brushing away a silky strand of hair from his face with one hand and leading a horse with the other. 

"A gift," he spoke softly, handing the rein to me, "for your travels." 

I felt the brush of his warm hand and the cold metal of his claws brush against my skin as I took the rein from him, nodding a smile, my silent thank you. Offering his hand, he helped me mount the tall steed. 

From my new position, my eyes scanned the surroundings. It was so still, so motionless. The once horrendous site of screams had now died down to an eerie stillness. 

"Shall we go now, My Lady?" asked the elderly man, approaching me. 

Nodding, I took one last look at the handsome general and his troops before pulling the rough rein, guiding the horse to travel southwards. 

"General, please! If you let her go, Lord Cao Cao will be furious!" 

Pulling the rein firmly to the side, I was able to turn the horse around, redirecting myself to look upon the man that had just spoken. Judging from his uniform, he was no more than a mere private. Yet his heart contained such courage for a low ranking soldier that he dared speak up. 

"Please general," he spoke again, his voice shaking, "please reconsider th-" 

"Silence, you fool." He finally answered with an irritated tone. 

"General," I too, speaking up, "it is still not to late if you wish to change your mind." 

"I live life with no regrets, Lady Yulan. My decision remains unaltered." 

"Very well general, if that is your decision, I will bother you no more. But before I depart, I wish to know your name so I may one day repay you for your kindness in our time of need." 

His eyes flickered teasingly and a smile appeared on his fine face. "Your compensation is not needed, My Lady," he spoke lightheartedly, "but my name, you shall be given. It is Zhang He, My Lady. Zhang He of Hejian." 

"Thank you, Lord Zhang He. I will never forget what you have done for me and for my people." And without looking back at him for the last time, I redirected the white steed onto our route and departed. How I had hoped we would meet once more. Not on the battlefield. Not with slain bodies piling around us nor weapons in our hands. But somewhere where war does not exist, in a place where the celestial forces guide us in an ever-peaceful harmony. Little did I know how foolish this thought was, that we would not be able to become acquainted as better friends but only bitterer foes. 

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AN: Hope you had fun reading. I know I promised that I'd update sooner but I guess I lied. There's just so much work these days to do. Thanks for reading and please, send me a review. When will the next chapter be updated? Who knows but don't expect it to be anytime soon. 

Just to tell you, the flashback's not done yet. Yeah, I realize it's dragging and slow but bear with me, I'm that kind of writer. 


	4. Vow

AN: I finally decided to update, yay.

Disclaimer: Doesn't apply, Luo Guanzhong's been dead for over 500 years. May his poor soul rest in peace after knowing what deranged fans (like me) have been doing to his masterpiece.

Chapter 4 

Had we known where we should be heading, the trip would have been far less extensive and tedious. The constant search for my father and keeping a sharp lookout for any enemy troops had left everyone exhausted. The noon sun beamed down upon us no longer as a friend, but wearing down our fatigued bodies.

"My Lady," spoke one man, sweat drenching his weary body, "we have been wandering for some time now yet we have found no sign of the Lord. I fear we are lost. What shall we do?"

Similar worried glances turned to me. Not knowing what to do, I gazed up upon the blazing sun and then at the ground. The noon sun casted no shadow and we were unable to use that to determine our position. 

"My Lady," spoke up another man, "perhaps we should rest. Then after our strength returns, the sun would've moved to a position that can determine the direction from."

Murmurs of agreement erupted among them. I would've very much liked to rest myself, but it cannot be done.

"No," I replied sternly, "time mustn't be wasted. If we stop now, we are in danger of being exposed to the Wei army. We must keep traveling now and quickly."

As I spoke, an old man, supporting himself with a staff, moved away from our line and towards the shady grove of large trees not far off from our position. I turned to watch him walk away at a snail's pace, wondering if the heat of the sun had somehow caused his mind to become unable to function correctly for I had specifically given the order that no one shall stray off from our course.

"What is that man doing?" My tone, showing annoyance somewhat startled them. They looked at one another, their eyes wondering who could answer my question.

"M-M-My Lady, h-h-he is my grandfather. H-H-He must be very tired and w-w-wants to r-r-rest in the shade of those t-t-trees."

I looked down to him, seeing his intimidated face. He was no older than I was, a simple farm boy. His eyes showed fear to me when I was not the one to be feared, but the fierce Wei army.

"I-I-I'm very sorry for this, My Lady, he's very o-o-old and his b-b-body can-"

"Would you stop blubbering like a fool and go retrieve him already?!" I snapped impatiently, the small fire of my annoyance now rising due to his moronic speech failure.

Dumbstruck, he nodded and ran for the old man. I shook my head, seeing how the old man had practically made to a 50 feet range of the grove and how his grandson had apparently inherited his turtle-like speed. Finally, when he seemed to have caught up, he was somehow unable to restrain the old man and bring him back. Instead, the old man had now inched his way to the trees and had taken to watching them.

If the times were not so desperate, I really might've killed that man for his uselessness. Seeing how matters had to be done by myself, I rode my horse down into the wooded area. Trying to suppress my anger, I spoke calmly to him, persuading him to come back with us. The old man made no response but continued to stare attentively at the tree, muttering to himself. It was at this point, I had lost all patience for this seemingly delirious old man. Dismounting my horse, I drew the sword which had so recently caused blood to flow. I pointed it at him, hoping the alarm would finally draw his attention. Unfortunately, all I received was an over-dramatic gasp from his idiot grandson while the old man continued to touch the tree and mutter to himself.

Unable to take anymore of his nonsense, I made my threat. "Sir, if you do not go back with me right now, you are endangering the life of yourself, your grandson and everyone here to be exposed to the Wei. If you do not return to the line as of right now, I will be forced to leave you here to Wei's disposal."

It was finally at that moment, I received his attention. Satisfied with myself, I asked if we could please proceed with our travel. He agreed, under the condition that I should examine the tree.

"What for?" 

"Please, My Lady, I am an old man whose eyesight fails him terribly. Please just examine it and tell me what you see."

I gave in. His request was simple enough, though absurd. Leaning in, I touched the tree bark with my fingers. Oddly, it was moist and soft…?

"It… its moss…" I managed to make out.

"Ah, yes, I'm glad you approve. And now if my memory serves me correctly, moss grows on the Northern side of the trees, no?" he replied wryly.

I stood there dumbfounded, unable to reply. Perhaps it was because I was too angry with myself. Angry that _I had not noticed. _

"Now that we know this much, I would say we should travel in that direction," he continued, pointing his staff from which the direction we came. "I guess we were on the right path all along," he chuckled to himself, "but still, it is always better to make sure, especially in our situation, wouldn't you agree Lady Yulan?"

We soon departed, returning to our original route. I could still feel the sun's burning blazes beat upon my head. But this time, it came to me much as a relief for it showed that what seemed like an eternity spent "persuading" the old man had actually been barely enough time for one stick of incense to burn out. 

For the most time we traveled towards our destination, I spent the time sulking, a bit annoyed with both myself and that pompous old man. I suppose I had wanted to play hero for the people in their time of need. But as I can see now, I lacked much of the ability and wit to do so.

Lost in my own sea of thoughts, I had failed to realize that we were approaching a large wooded area. Before it, stood a lonesome, small bridge, seemingly on the verge of breaking. As we drew closer, our ears were filled with the sound of gallops and the sight of clouds of dust rising from within the trees.

"What is that?" they murmured to each other.

Truthfully, I too had not the slightest idea of what the ruckus could be. The only thing I could presume was that of there being a large army, hidden within the shadows of the forest, ready to attack at any given moment. Was it the Wei army or perhaps my father's troops, again I will say I did not know.

And again, I was blessed with the chance for another act of heroism for the people. I ordered them to stand back while I alone would cross the bridge and investigate. Some begged me not to attempt such a risk while others stayed quiet, not sure what to say. Nevertheless, my mind, unclear from dehydration and anger, was made up. I ordered them to retreat several hundred feet and to blend themselves within the nearby bushes. If anything were to happen to me, I gave them the permission of fleeing for their lives. I suppose that order was extremely useless. If I would really fall into enemy hands, none of them would be able to save me anyways. 

Seeing that they had carefully concealed themselves, I pulled the rein and approached the bridge hesitantly. To be honest, I was terribly frightened. My heart seemed to pound not on my chest, my inside my head, causing me to feel dizzy and light-headed. I was not sure whether it was truly happening or an illusion played by my mind but all noises and movements seemed to have died down. Soon, all that could be heard was the solid 'clops' of my horse as it treaded its way uncertainly across the wooden bridge.

Then suddenly, the loud sound of gallops could be heard. It grew louder and louder as if at any given moment, I would be face to face with its rider. And then, just as suddenly as it had risen, the sound died down. I could hear the loud thumps of my heart beating inside my head in the now eerie silence. The suspense seemed horrifying as I waited to see the rider come into view.

With that split second of silence, was followed by a loud thump that shook the bridge and a loud roar. My horse, frightened by the surprise, neighed in terror and began to thrash wildly. My hands burned as I grabbed desperately onto the rein, trying to control the alarmed animal. My attempts were futile for I lacked the energy to compete with the creature in a contest of brutal strength.

My hands were slipping, I couldn't control it. If I were to fall, death could come in two ways. One, being knocked unconscious and then trampled to death under the horse. And two, being seized by the attacker and die in a who-knows-what way. I couldn't hold on anymore, I was letting go… I was falling… 

I awoke with a small gasp as I found myself on the floor. The soft voices from the next room were still continuing clearly as I found myself not on the slopes of Chang Ban but in the safety outside of my father's study quarters.

I could come to no explanation on how I was placed in such a vivid dream of memories. These incidents on which my mind would wander so had happened quite frequently for the past few months. I suppose it was such the shock that had imprinted the traumatic events into my mind.

The soft voices paused momentarily and then continued. Like before, I pressed my heard against the wooden framed, paper paned door and listened.

"But-"

"Do not worry so much, My Lord."

"I try not to," followed by a soft sigh, "but how can I not worry about something so great in importance?"

"There is no need to worry, I predict that soon, our worries will be over." He replied calmly.

"Really? Please do explain."

"Well you see, to my understanding at least, we will soon be receiving a visitor."

"A visitor? Of what sorts?"

"He will be a man, a man from the South."

"South? You mean the Wu of Jiangling?"

"Yes indeed, that is exactly what I'm referring to."

"But why? The Sun family has long held a deep hatred for Liu Biao after the death of Sun Jian. Why now would they come to associate with their enemy's kin?"

"My Lord, the wise can put aside emotions easily when their safety is in danger."

"But I heard Cao Cao had proposed to them an alliance. An alliance to eliminate us!"

"My Lord, if you were the young Sun Quan, would you so easily form an alliance with a man such as Cao Cao?"

"Hm, I suppose not. Cao Cao's reputation as a traitor and tyrant is known by all."

"Exactly. If we were to be destroyed by their combined forces, who then would stand up to Cao Cao's tyranny? Cao Cao is crafty and unreliable, their once alliance will soon turn into a raging war. Cao Cao's goal is to unify China under his own grasp, he does not share power.

"You're explanation is truly marvelous Kongming!"

"It is not much. Anyone could've foreseen it with the given knowledge on such situations." He replied modestly. 

"But back to the man you were speaking of, how does his arrival pertain to our situation?"

A small chuckle and movement across the room could be heard. "Well My Lord, as I see it, an alliance shall be made, but not by Cao Cao, but by us. And how do you suppose he shall respond to this?"

"Hm, surely he will try to eliminate both forces that now stand in his way?"

"There is no doubt that Cao Cao will try to do exactly that. But once he brings his Grand Army down here, it is our territory. With our knowledge of the terrain and our troops being accustomed to the weather, we will have the definite advantage over his Northern troops. In the heart of the South, Cao Cao will suffer his greatest defeat yet."

I only came to a mild understanding of the situation after their intense conversation. Some of Master Kongming's words confused me, but the very mentioning of Cao Cao's defeat brought a decent dose of comfort to my troubled heart. Deciding that it was enough eavesdropping for the day (more like an eternity), I tip-toed out of the room and quietly entered the halls.

Arriving back in my own quarters, I found that neither Nurse nor the handmaidens were present. Grateful that I could have a moment of solitude from Nurse's usual grumbles, I took the precious moment to collect my thoughts. Taking down the sword from its usual hanging position on the wall, I withdrew it from its sheath. Finding its usual shine to be quite dull, I began to polish it and at the same time, losing myself within my thoughts.

I had indeed fallen from the horse on that small bridge which would later be known as the infamous Chang Ban Bridge. As I expected, the fall had indeed knocked me unconscious. Therefore, all my understanding of the events that followed was heard from others.

The "thing" that had frightened my horse so had ironically been General Zhang Fei. After I had lost consciousness, I was brought into the backwoods where my father had been staying. The dust and gallops had turned out to be a strategy to scare off the enemy army by creating the illusion that a large army was approaching from within the forest. I must admit, it was quite the ingenious idea, especially to be thought up by such a rash, hot-headed man such as Lord Zhang. I was not sure what I found to be more unbelievable, Lord Zhang actually using his head or the feat that followed. With a loud roar, Lord Zhang supposedly stood against the entire Wei army at Chang Ban Bridge. It was said that he seemed so fierce, a Wei general died instantly from fright! Seeing this, Cao Cao was forced to retreat! Not that I doubted General Zhang's abilities for I knew he was a talented general, but both stories seemed so farfetched that it was hard for me to take them as entirely true.

Impressive as Lord Zhang's accomplishments may have been, I found myself much more eager to hear General Zhao's instead. Equal in skill with General Zhang, General Zhao Yun was much more calm and reserved compared to the bad-tempered Lord Zhang. Besides having a much more agreeable character, the young General Zhao Yun was far more handsome. Mounted on his white steed, clad in an outfit of shiny armor and weapon in hand, he looked more than dashing. Though I was not there to see him myself, I'm more than positive he looked ever so handsome while charging through the thousands of Wei troops, saving the young Liu Shan.

I truly wish I could've been there, been there to see both General Zhang and General Zhao in their day of fine glory. But with the small glory we gained, we have also paid the price in losing someone dear to our hearts. I really could not believe the news when it was told to me. Was she really gone…? She had been in our lives for as long as my memory would take me. How could she be gone just like that? I could still remember the child's laugh as she bounced him in her arms. Her happiness and his giggles seemed to be a part of everyday life. Was it really gone now…?

"Yulan dear, would you hold him for me while I work on my embroidering?"

"You're hair's such a mess," she used to tease, "Let me fix it for you."

That voice… would I really never hear it again?

The cloth dropped to the floor as my hand clenched tightly, forming a tight fist. She was gone, she really was! Whether I wanted to believe it or not, she would never be in her room or in the garden or anywhere! She sacrificed herself… for Liu Shan… for General Zhao… for us all…

My eyes burned with rage and tears as I brought the polished sword to my face, glancing at my reflection. My face seemed surprisingly pale compared to my natural complexion. All blood seemed to have been flushed from my face. My eyes, normally shining optimistically seemed to have darkened with hatred.

"Cao Cao, haven't you done enough by murdering my father? Your evil deeds just do not cease, do they? Now look what you've done. LOOK! Father's dead and now even Madam Mi's dead. They tell me she jumped into that well but I know it was you who killed her. You pursued us after countless days. You trapped her, leaving her no choice. She was always so kind and generous. She knew General Zhao could not possibly save both her and the baby. She chose to sacrifice herself. When she jumped, it was just as if you pushed her yourself! Your hands are stained with guilt, you evil filth. But no matter, I won't let Madam Mi's sacrifice be in vain. I won't let my father's death be for nothing. They died to protect us, and now it is time we honored them.

Bring forth the sword to my arm, I made a gash across my arm and watched as blood trickled down to my hand. "With this very blood, I shall make a vow. The time has come for their selflessness to be repaid. Come and attack Cao Cao. No matter what I must do, your life will be taken, and their deaths shall be avenged."

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AN: I apologize for the delay in updating but I really did have a lot of work to do. Now that the two SAT II's are behind me, I think I will have much more time to devote to writing this. I hope this chapter was worth your wait and I have made it especially long just to make it up to you guys.

My birthday was this Monday, woo-hoo! *throws confetti* I am now 15 but still too young to drive. Damn.

_The flashback's over and the vow has been made. In the next chapter we shall meet the mysterious visitor Kongming speaks of. For those who are familiar with the novel, yes it is him._


	5. Visitor

Disclaimer: Doesn't apply, blah blah blah, you get the idea.

**Chapter 5**

Though growing up in the center of the love and care of others, I somehow felt out of place, differentiated from them. It was an estranged feeling, not knowing how or why, only knowing I was different. Through this, I continuously strived for uniqueness, to put myself above the other ladies and madams, and their finer idea of femininity. And I suppose that's why, I put oh so much effort to prove myself, for respect and approval from men.

****

The sky above us shone a smoky gray. A humid breeze danced around us, indicating perhaps later showers. Other than signs of rain, the day was cool and fine, perfect for an archery lesson. But somehow, with my luck, I was instead confined in the prison of my own garden and home, a hostage of my strict Nurse. One way or another, though I tried my hardest to conceal it, she discovered the cut on my arm which I had inflicted upon myself. Not wanting to upset her even more than she already was with her usual complaints, I made up the lie of it being a result of my own clumsiness during my sword practicing. I realized by doing this, I had put some of the blame on General Zhao who accompanied me during these practices. I really never intended for any fault to be placed on him but telling Nurse I myself had caused the slash across my arm was definitely not an option. 

Oh how she had reacted when she found out! "Tsk tsk tsk," she clucked like an old hen, while cleaning the gash on my arm. "Look at this." Raising my arm in front of me, she demanded I look at my wound. "Not even properly cleaned and wrapped! Don't you know you could die from an infection?!"

"Well, it's hard to suitably clean and wrap something to your standards. Especially with only one arm to use!" I replied, cringing slightly at the pain.

She let an annoyed sigh, finished winding a clean cloth around the cut, picked up her needlework and continued complaining. "You are just so much trouble, you know. And at the full-grown age of seventeen too! Why, your sister didn't give me half the amount of trouble as you give me now! My goodness, seventeen! Why, your sister was already married and carrying her first child by then! And look at you! Running around the soldiers camp like a wild child, playing with those dangerous things when you could be practicing your embroidery or musical skills! But no, you have to go practice those nasty weapons! And look what you've done to yourself! If you're lucky, this'll heal in a month of two. If not, it'll become infected with all sorts of filthy things.

She continued babbling but I managed to ignore her. I suppose after being with her and her never closed mouth my whole life, I've acquired the skill of listening to what I only want to hear. Everything else passes by as a long slur, unimportant and no need to pay heed to.

"Are you finished?" I replied, feeling a bit annoyed at this point. Her words needed not to be listened to but the continuing buzz of agitating words was a nuisance.

"No, and you better listen to this because I know you've been ignoring me for quite the time now."

I pouted, unhappy with the fact she has caught on with my little secret. I decided to listen, feeling it was in my best interest. Actually, it was more in fear of her endless squabbling if I didn't.

"As long as you're hurt, I don't want you going near that sword of yours. And that goes for any of those dangerous things as well!"

"But-!"

"But what? Don't tell me you can't go a few months without the urge to do something stupid. No, is no. 

"Oh, you're impossible!" I cried out of frustration.

"What? I really don't see how giving up fiddling with that nonsense for a hundred days or so is so hard!"

"You don't get it! These things need to be practiced continuously! You cannot just throw it aside and then pick it up again!"

"Oh really, now who taught you that?"

"General Zhao… but that's not the point!"

"Oh so when I tell you these things, you completely ignore me like it was a bunch of nonsense. But when General Zhao says it, you take it as if it was the order of the Emperor!"

I rolled my eyes and kept silent. Now I would be in for a lecture.

"So how come you can throw aside your needlework but not your sword?"

"Because making designs on a piece of silk cloth is useless. It's not like you can accomplish anything with a needle and some fancy embroidering work."

"Well I think that sword of yours is more useless! Think about it Yulan… when the time comes, hopefully not to far from now, when your father finds a suitable man for you, you're going to have to-"

The whole harangue was long, tiresome to listen to and could frustrate the living daylights out of anyone. So needless to say, I lost our verbal fight and the punishment, well here I am.

My body, sore from the constant sitting position I had been in for so long, I stood to stretch my aching limbs. Wandering around, I surveyed everyone else in the garden. Nurse was in the shade, sewing away at probably her second handkerchief this week. A few of the handmaidens were scattered around the garden, whispering and gossiping to each other. And the rest, two servants, standing by the gateways leading out, busied themselves with a conversation.

Strolling around aimlessly, I managed to catch a fragment of the two's conversation as I walked by.

"Have you heard?"

"No, what?"

"They said a ship has docked at the harbor. There were so many soldiers, must've been someone important aboard."

That managed to catch my attention. I bent down by a flower bed, not far from them, within listening range, pretended to take interest in the colorful petals and eavesdropped attentively.

"So how do you think was on that ship?"

"Well…"

"Come on, out with it."

"Well, keeping this between you and me," his voice dropping to a hush, "I heard from one of the guards that they've been expecting an important visitor for about two weeks now. Some kind of political figure or something like that."

I had heard enough. Rising, I requested them to prepare a carriage for me. They returned after a short period of time, informing the carriage was prepared and out front.

"Please inform the driver to bring it to the back. That would be most convenient." All was ready, well, except for one thing.

"Where are you going, Yulan?" Came the imposing voice of the overlarge hen.

She would be a difficult obstacle to overcome and persuade. So there I was, thinking of the obvious dilemma that posed before me. 

"Should I tell her the truth?" I debated to myself. "No, no, that would be just plain stupid. She would refuse for sure."

"Well maybe she'll take pity and let you go," spoke another part of my conscience. 

"Don't be a fool, that last thing she'll do is pity me."

"So what should we do?"

"Hold on, I'm thinking!"

"All right, all right."

"Aha I got it!"

I turned around to face her, wearing the sweetest possible smile I could manage. My cheeks dimpled as my lips curved upward but at the same time still concealing my rows of straightly aligned teeth. If I had dared to let her catch even the slightest glimpse of an open-mouthed smile, I would receive yet another lecture of my improperness in behaving like a lady.

"Why have you forgotten Nurse?" I spoke in such a sweet voice that it was as if each word had been enveloped in a coat pure honey.

"Forgotten what?" she replied, raising a brow in suspicion.

"Why today's the day I get my autumn robes fitted by the tailor! Don't tell me you've forgotten!"

She halted her embroidering and squinted her eyes slightly, a sign of deep thinking. I stared at her nervously, hoping all would go according to plan. She finally broke out of her trance and replied curtly, "Ah yes, I remember now. Today is the day, isn't it?"

I gave a happy nod and kept smiling.

"But," she continued, "That does not explain why you are going out. The tailor is to come here to get the measurements to avoid the trouble of us having to go to home. That's what separates you from the commoners.

"Oh, well you see Nurse, I thought it would be so much better if I make the trip to his shop instead."

"Oh really, and why is that?" she questioned suspiciously.

"Why don't you remember what happened last time when I needed new gowns for spring? That man who came to retrieve my measurements became so nervous that he backed up into the shelf and knocked down that priceless vase! And it was a gift from the dear Lord Liu Biao too!"

I knew immediately that bringing up this oh so not very fond memory for her was a clever move. I could still clearly remember the rampage she had went on after it had occurred. I truly do pity that poor man. The vase was not exactly priceless but Nurse had enough of a tantrum to have literally scared the man to death.

"Yes, I certainly do remember that," she replied, her bottom lip curving thinly, obviously still annoyed at the man after all this time. "Very well Yulan, you may go to avoid another one of these "unfortunate" incidents but be back before sunset. Do you understand?"

I gave a calm response to conceal my true excitement that my plan had actually worked and proceeded to walk with the utmost grace out to the carriage.

"To the market, My Lady?" asked the driver as I stepped in. 

"Oh of course not," I replied briskly, "We're going to the Tower of Meeting."

The Tower of Meeting was by no means an actual tower but just an elaborate name given to an elaborate building used to conduct serious businesses and issues between Lord Liu Bei and his many advisors and generals.

We arrived in a short period and I immediately noticed that it was indeed more heavily guarded than usual. Before the driver departed to conduct his other businesses, I sternly ordered him to inform no one of my visit here, especially not Nurse. He agreed, though reluctant and probably imagining inside his head a screaming Nurse, waving her arms around angrily, intimidating him with absurd threats if she ever finds out.

With the same graceful posture I had used to leave Nurse's presence, I approached the door to the courtyard and waited for its two door guards to let me in.

"I am here to see Lord Liu Bei." I said with a commanding tone.

They exchanged looks and finally one replied, "I'm sorry My Lady but the Lord Liu Bei has give the order that no one may enter the tower."

"But I don't understand."

"I'm sorry My Lady but those were his strict orders and I dare not break them."

I gave a heavy sigh of defeat, realizing it was futile to argue with a man and his duties and turned to leave. It was obvious that whoever was inside was truly someone of great importance.

Just when I began to ponder my next course of actions, a familiar voice called to me. I turned hastily and saw a familiar young general approaching me.

"General Zhao!" I exclaimed, my spirits immediately rose at the sight of him.

"What brings you to the Tower of Meeting, Lady Yulan?" he asked, smiling politely.

"I was hoping to speak to either Father or Master Kongming." I replied, pouting slightly, "but it seems that strict orders have been give to prohibit anyone from entering."

"Hm, I see." he replied, his handsome face still containing hints of a smile. "Was there anything urgent you needed to speak about to Lord Liu Bei?"

"Oh no, it was nothing important." I replied innocently, "But I am most curious about why there has been such an increase of guards here.

"Well I could quench that curiosity." he replied, smiling again, "But I will need you to come with me, if you don't mind that is, My Lady."

I happily obeyed his request and followed him down to the bed of a wide river.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked, staring at the sandy water.

"It is the Chang Jiang, is it not?" I replied confidently.

He nodded and raised his ram to point in the direction of the horizon. "Do you know what lies on the other side of this magnificent river?"

Again I gave my answer with the utmost confidence. "Tis the kingdom of Wu."

He turned his gaze onto me and replied, "And that is where our visitor is from."

I was at first confused about how our visitor could have been the actual Wu kingdom but then realized he must have meant an official of Wu.

"Who is he?" I asked.

"His name is Lu Su and he is an important figure in the court of Sun Quan."

I remained quiet for a small period of time and then began again. "He has come to form an alliance with us to fight Cao Cao, hasn't he?"

General Zhao turned to gaze at me with a look of sheer astonishment but remained silent for secrets such as this should have not even have been exposed to minor officials and to think me, a woman, knew of such a plan.

I chose to not return his gaze for I was afraid he might question from whom I had heard such secrets. Instead, I looked out to the horizon which would eventually lead to the beaches of Wu. The sun, burning in its red fury, was slowly setting against the violet sky. Soon, the pale softness of the crescent moon will rise to the heavens and gaze upon us. Would this be a sign that Cao Cao's tyranny would also fall and in its place will rise again the glorious empire of the Han?

We stood there, silent and motionless until he finally suggested returning. I agreed and allowed him to accompany back to the Tower of Meeting.

It must've been fate or some extreme act of luck for once we reached within a close range of the tower, I immediately spotted Lord Kongming and the Wu official stepping out the tower's front steps.

He was an average man based on looks with nothing extremely unique in his appearance. Strangely, he was clad in a set of dark blue and black robes in contrast to Wu's usual preference for red clothing.

From where I stood, he seemed to speak a few inaudible words to Lord Kongming and then finally stepped onto a large carriage and departed for what must have been his living quarters.

I immediately approached Master Kongming after the man had left, hoping to have a chance to speak with him.

"Lady Yulan" he exclaimed, wearing a pleasant smile, "what brings you here? Should you not be home for supper at this time?"

"I was hoping I could speak to you about something, Master Kongming." I replied.

"Oh? Well then I won't let your trip here be futile. Let us speak inside." With that, he brought me into a private chamber and beckoned me to sit.

"So what was the 'something' you wished to speak to me about?" he asked, motioning his fan to create a comforting, cool breeze.

"It- it's about that man."  I replied softly.

"Oh?" he replied curiously. "And what is it that you wish to discuss with me about Lord Lu Su?"

"He has come to discuss about an alliance between us and Wu against Cao Cao, hasn't he?" I blurted out hastily.

Master Kongming's face suddenly looked stern and halted any movements with his fan. "Yulan, a lady such as yourself should not be involved or even questioning such matters." He spoke gravely.

I looked onto the layers of robes which covered my legs, my eyes downcast with disappointment and replied weakly, "Yes, I know."

"But I'm glad you've taken such an interest in our kingdom's situation," he began again, with a lighthearted tone, "And seeing how you are my student of sorts, I will let you onto a little secret." He replied pleasantly with a small wink.

"What you have said is all true and if all goes well, a strong alliance will be established between the Sun and Liu families. However, in only a matter of seven days will Lord Lu Su be returning to Wu. I shall have to go with me."

"But why?"

"Well, currently, the Wu court is torn between the sides of for and against an alliance with us. Sun Qian, the trusted advisor of the now deceased Sun Ce leads the side of domestic advisors in favoring an alliance with Wei instead. I'll have to go and 'convince' them that an alliance with us is the wise choice." He replied, winking again.

"Oh but with you gone, I'll have no company other than that old hen!"

He chuckled loudly at my nickname for Nurse and replied, "Be on your best behavior now."

"Its easier said than done Master! She's so frustrating!"

"Well if you do, I may be able to convince your father to let you come and see the Wu kingdom."

He nodded and then began with a stern tone. "Mark my words Yulan, from this day forward, Cao Cao's power will only decline into oblivion."

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AN: Well it's about 11:38 right now and for some reason beyond my control, I'm typing up this piece of crap that I wrote a month ago instead of studying for my Chemistry midterm which I'm bound to fail. 

One other thing I wanted to clear up, as you can probably tell from reading five chapters of this incredibly plot-less fic, its about just as exciting as watching your grandma clip her toenails. Maybe not as disgusting but definitely just as boring. Now why do I use this poor excuse of a literary writing to torture you, you may ask. Well today's your lucky day because I am here to enlighten your minds. 

First off, My Story was not written to contain much action. So those who are reading this and expect 'hack, slash, flying severed limbs', I just you go read something else right now because you'll find none of that here. The sole purpose of this fic is actually to… EDUCATE! *dramatic piano music plays in background followed by some screaming* Yes yes, you heard me, I wrote this junk to educate you. Why you ask? Well it seems not many people truly **understand the Chinese culture. That would explain why we have fics with blue eyed characters and women running around on the battlefield. Well actually I lied, the sole purpose wasn't to educate you. I actually wrote this because I was bored beyond my mind and was a giddy and not as sarcastic or wise fourteen year old. Don't feel bad, I guarantee that you're not the only victim to my sarcasm and corniness.  **

So remember kids, stay in school, don't do drugs and don't use that winking smiley on AIM because it looks disturbingly seductive in a very wrong way.

P.S. If you want to make me a happy but still wonderfully sarcastic person, visit my website. 

(You're going to have to check my profile for the link. FF.net won't allow me to show it here. *mumbles something inaudible*)

And sign the guestbook. That makes me happy too.

**[Edit]**  I've given up reading the fics of others due to lack of interest and the absurdness of certain ones. If I were to give an honest, thought out criticism for my review, I'm sure it'll leave more than enough people agitated and foaming at the mouth due to anger. But if you are willing to accept honest criticism, submit a review to my fic and ask for one and I will gladly do you the favor. However, I do have a policy for my service.  
  
Review Policy  
1) For every chapter you review for me, I will do the same for you.  
2) If I have less chapters than you because I'm a lazy, procrastinating bastard, I'll do my best to make my way to your later chapters.  
3) My reviews will be honest to a fault so please, don't bitch about how its mean or picky.  
4) Give me a little time to read and come up with a review, I am a busy person. 

**I'll still be reading further updates for the fics that I'm currently reading. I just won't be looking into new fics.


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